The Anchor of Trust

Clint Holden, MA
Nov 4
4 min read

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Trust is built in the small moments.” It sounds good—gentle, maybe even wise. I read it recently in a post online. It’s thin. Trust isn’t built like loose change collected in a jar, adding up one kind gesture at a time. You can’t piece together a few warm interactions and call it trust.

What truly builds trust is who you are long before the small moments ever show up: your integrity, your reliability, your willingness to hold to truth even when no one is watching and when the stakes are real. The small moments? They don’t build trust—they expose whether that foundation is there.

Real trust doesn’t accumulate—it holds fast. It’s anchored in character, honesty, and consistency long before the “small moments” ever happen. Those moments simply show what’s already true about a person or an organization.

Data Talks

It turns out this is not just a nice sounding idea—it’s supported by research. For example, in a recent study, researchers found that “teacher trust had a moderate effect on student learning, and school leadership had a large effect on teacher trust.” (Sage Journals)

In other words: leadership establishes trust with teachers, which then contributes to student outcomes—not simply “nice moments” in isolation.

City Year summarized relational trust in schools like this: “Trust and academic success go hand in hand.” Their post highlighted that trust is built when adults consistently show respect, listen to each other, and genuinely care—not when they just call a “small moment” a win.

A Trusted Leader’s Take

Dr. Toby A. Travis, whose work with the TrustED® framework in schools focuses on trust as a foundational lever for school improvement, writes: "Research has shown that when trust levels are high, benefits to schools include: higher student achievement levels, increased retention of faculty, staff, and students, greater community support and volunteerism, increased financial stability."

Dr. Travis is effectively saying that what we call “small moments” matter—but only as indicators of something deeper. Trust isn’t a collection of moments—it’s the surrounding culture. (Read more from Toby Travis here)

Why the “Small Moments” Phrase Misleads

It suggests that trust is built moment by moment — as if you earn trust by ticking boxes: “I greeted them in the hallway”, “I said something kind in the meeting”. But that turns trust into a transaction rather than a reflection of who you are.
It ignores the context of character and cost. A small moment of kindness means very little if you’re inconsistent, dishonest, or invisible in the hard moments. Trust is not built when things are easy—it is proven when things are difficult.
It underplays leadership-role and environment. The data show that trust among teachers and staff is correlated with leadership behavior and organizational culture—so the focus shouldn’t be only on individual “small moments”, but on consistent patterns, on culture, on integrity across the board.
It can make “small moments” feel like enough. That is dangerous. If you believe trust is built by a few visible acts, you may neglect the bigger relational work: transparency, accountability, vulnerability, follow-through, fairness.

Re-Framing the Conversation

If you lead a school (or any organization), do your small moments align with your big ones? Are you the same person when things are easy and when things are hard? Do you keep your commitments, listen when it costs you something, admit mistakes, and behave as though you matter to the people you serve? Because that’s what will build real trust—not merely the sum of little acts.

Small moments reveal trust. Culture, character and consistency build it.

In a school environment, trust matters because teachers follow leaders they believe in, students engage with teachers they believe cares for them, parents invest in schools they believe are trustworthy. And the research backs it that when trust is present and thriving, students and teachers experience much more successful teaching and learning experiences.

Practical Points to Ponder

Don’t confuse gestures with building trust. Saying the right thing in the hallway is good. Living faithfully in the difficult hours is better.
Make sure your “small moments” are consistent with your overall behavior and leadership decisions. If you ask others to do hard things, you should be visible doing the hard thing too.
Ask yourself: What do my people believe about me when no one is watching? If the answer is uncertain, trust won’t stick.
Invest more in creating a culture of reliability, transparency and mutual respect than in isolated “feel-good” moments.
Measure and monitor trust not by counting nice gestures, but by listening to the questions people ask about you when you’re not around: Do they expect you to keep your word? Do they believe you have their interests at heart?

Trust doesn’t live in the tidy little slice of life we call “small moments”. It lives in the pattern of our lives, the unspoken consistency, and the choices we make when no one’s watching. For school leaders, teachers, and anyone wanting to serve with integrity—let your “small moments” be visible signs of a deeper foundation, not the foundation itself.

Authored by Clint Holden